Friday, February 6, 2009

Drug Abuse Upgraded to "Really Whack"

The war on drugs took a slight smoke break in the recent Seth Rogen era of filmdom, but the war is back on in full force after the fallout from the Michael Phelps' bong scandal. Sure, it's an amazing feat to win fourteen gold medals in your Olympic career, but it's an even bigger feat to win those medals when you're a doped-up pothead. Just getting him to show up must've been an achievement. And he probably thought that crazy opening ceremony was the trippiest drum circle he'd ever been to.

So when Kellogg's dumps your high-off-your-ass ass and Subway yanks you from its website, you know that the war on drugs is back on, 'cause breakfast cereal and five-dollar footlongs are the ultimate munchies for Phish fans, naked bongo players and donkey-faced Olympians. Drugs are badder than ever. The proof is in the bongwater, dude.

No, no, Michael. Cereal bowl. CEREAL bowl.

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