Size Really Doesn't Matter Anymore

Yes, lads, something women used to say to make y'all feel better (another one is "it happens to everyone"--it doesn't) is now totally true. I am a woman, I would not lie, despite that I just admitted some women will lie. But either way, it's the kind of lie you like. Um. Not that we as a gender lie a lot.


Size sure don't hurt tho. Just sayin'.

Unicorn Births At an All-Time High

Unsettling times make unicorns the opposite of horny. Which is weird, you know, considering that they are, at all times, literally horny. Behorned*. Horned? Whatever.


Luckily for all of us, unicorn gestation periods are rather short, and we are now experiencing a unicorn BOOM.

Happy days are here again! For unicorns!




*I get behorned thinking about Zac Efron eating a banana, if you know what I'm saying**.

**I'm saying the thought of Zac Efron with a dicklike object in his mouth makes me horny.