Hayden Panettiere is Single Again

She dropped that icky old dude and is single, like any self-respecting, hot 19-year-old should be.



All is right with the world. Now if only she could get out of that shitty show she's on.

Unicorn Births At an All-Time High

Unsettling times make unicorns the opposite of horny. Which is weird, you know, considering that they are, at all times, literally horny. Behorned*. Horned? Whatever.


Luckily for all of us, unicorn gestation periods are rather short, and we are now experiencing a unicorn BOOM.

Happy days are here again! For unicorns!




*I get behorned thinking about Zac Efron eating a banana, if you know what I'm saying**.

**I'm saying the thought of Zac Efron with a dicklike object in his mouth makes me horny.