Pirates Bad, Navy SEALs Good

Only during George W.'s administration could a theme park ride like Pirates of the Caribbean turn into one of Hollywood's biggest movie franchises ever. But after pirates kidnapped the captain of the Maersk Alabama, Obama sent a message loud and clear: pirates are bad and if you look past the guyliner and underneath the eye patch, you'll see the eyes of a killer. Or the empty eye socket of a killer. What Disneyland really needs to do is make a ride based on the Navy SEALs who rescued the captain. Those guys are pretty awesome killers.

The war on pirates has begun.


If you don't like blow-dry haircuts and broody eyes, then the pirates have won.